The Christian Philosophy of Marriage

by Greg S. Baker, Christian Examiner Contributor |

Your acceptance of what marriage is will dictate how you approach nearly every aspect of the relationship. One way to define the term "philosophy" is the perspective of values attributed to a given subject. In other words, a philosophy is the meaning and purpose of something. So depending on your philosophy of marriage, your attitudes, your feelings, and your actions may differ.

For example, if you think marriage should exist only when both people in the marriage are happy, then you will consider divorce the moment you are unhappy. If marriage in your eyes is just a sanction for sex, then the moment your sex life is no longer as attractive, your eyes will start to wander and you'll have second thoughts about your marriage.

Your philosophy on marriage is vital to your willingness to maintain the relationship.


Ephesians 5:21-33 deals with marriage. But the entire passage is paralleled with the relationship between Christ and the Church.

From these verses, we begin to see that marriage is much more than we would suspect.

It is important for any married couple, or for that matter anyone who wishes to get married, to have a deep understanding of God's purpose for marriage. Without an understanding of God's intent, it would be hard for any married couple to fully grasp the nature or the depth of commitment God is looking for in a marriage.

I cannot overstate the importance of this. As we progress through life and in marriage, problems and issues will crop up. For the Christian, a fundamental acceptance and understanding of God's philosophy of marriage is essential in dealing with these issues.

There is a premise, a starting idea if you like, that a Christian marriage revolves around. If someone has the premise wrong, they will miss the why, and often the how, of the nature of their marriage. Marriage is meant to be so much more than the physical union of two people. It is a highly spiritual and holy relationship.

Here is the premise and the essence of the Christian philosophy of marriage:

A marriage is divinely chosen by God to represent, in human terms, our relationship with God in Salvation.


Due to our fallen nature, as well as our human nature, it is impossible to understand the depth of love or commitment that God has for each of us. We read about it in Scripture, we hear about it from behind the pulpit, and we experience it, from our perspective. Since God will never leave us, nor forsake us, nor let us down, nor cease loving us, we cannot understand God from His perspective... from His side.

This, then, is the purpose or intent of marriage. It is a way for God to allow us to experience things from God's side of the equation. Since our mates are not perfect, they will hurt us, betray our feelings, scare us, and worry us. In such times, you will come to understand God more than is otherwise humanly possible.

It is impossible to love everyone to the degree that we are supposed to love our spouse. God is capable, but we are not. We just don't have that capacity. However, to understand the depth of love, mercy, and grace that God demonstrates to us, we need to choose someone to try and love like that. That person was meant to be your spouse.

Your Spouse Is the One You Should Love as God Loves You

God wanted you to choose one person, just one, to love so unconditionally, so absolutely, that as you experience the joys and pain of that relationship you may begin to understand God's love for you better. Only then may we understand God's joy when there is reconciliation, His disappointment when we sin, His jealousy over our time and love, and His rejoicing when there is a "marriage" of a sinner that says, "yes!" to His proposal.

This is the main reason God is so against divorce. God will not leave nor forsake us, no matter what we do, and the only way to understand that is to choose someone for whom you are willing to do the same. Divorce, therefore, is a rejection also of God's commitment to us. To choose divorce is saying that you do not understand God's depth of commitment to you. It is a denial of God's promises, and His love. In a way, it means you believe God can and will divorce you. If that is true, then you really don't understand God and you missed the point of your marriage.

Marriage Is a Picture of Salvation

In effect, marriage is a picture of salvation that cannot be experienced any other way on this earth. Only through our marriages can we gain this truer measure of God's love for us. Divorce, on the other hand, makes a mockery of this picture.

Therefore, even during the worst of times, God meant for you to remain married. As God keeps His vows and promises, so He expects the same level of commitment out of you.

In having such an understanding of the Christian philosophy of marriage, you will gain insights into God that will propel your spirituality and relationship with God beyond your wildest imaginations! Indeed, you will obtain a relationship through marriage that is unparalleled in joy, purpose, and fulfillment.

–Greg S. Baker pastored a church for thirteen years. He now works as the single's pastor at a local church while writing books to help expand the Kingdom of God within the kingdom of man. His books cover topics that include Christian living, manhood, and the end times. He also writes Christian fiction, believing that fiction is a major avenue for sharing the truth of God's Word. To learn more about Greg and his work, visit