Covenant marriage observances set nationwide

FOREST, Va. — Thousands of congregations across the country are expected to participate in the 2005 Covenant Marriage Sunday, set for Feb. 13.

The Rev. Phil Waugh, who co-founded the Virginia-based Covenant Marriage Movement with his wife, Cindy, said he sees the event as a way to launch a “season of celebration” for marriage. Churches that didn’t plan for the Feb. 13 event are still encouraged to host an observance on another Sunday. Resources on the group’s Web site are not time sensitive, he said.

The theme for this year’s event is “Embracing the Heart of Marriage.”

Waugh, the former Family Ministry director for LifeWay Christian Resources, acknowledges that the national debate on same-sex marriage has served as a powerful parallel issue, but he adds that Christians should put the same energy into preserving marriage as they do in trying to fight civil unions.

“It has drawn attention to just how far we’ve come (with ungodly morals),” he said. “That’s not just as a nation. Even as people of God, how far we’ve moved away from God’s vision for marriage.

“We are just as guilty as someone without Christ in allowing things to come as far as they have.”

Divorce statistics among Christians, as high as among non-believers, paint a disturbing picture for the institution of marriage, he said. Without trying to minimize the dangers of same-sex marriage, Waugh said that divorce is far more devastating to the structure of the family than gay unions.

“It’s more socially acceptable to get a divorce than to call off a wedding,” he said.

“My burden is, ‘OK,’ if we as a church go to this inner-city culture and try to communicate how important marriage is, and yet they look at the church and say ‘OK,’ show me the difference. It’s about changing the culture of the kingdom, changing the culture of the Bride of Christ rather than changing the culture of America. The church is the one who has to stand in any society.”

A national movement
The Waughs established the ministry in 2001 after meeting with several national leaders in marriage ministries. Waugh said he became convinced of the need for such an organization after seeing similar attempts to promote covenant-style marriages across the country.

“There were a lot of different ministries, a lot of different churches, a lot of different organizations, even state legislative bodies that were turning their attention toward covenant marriage,” he said.

“To me, what was going on in those states was a work of God.”

Others saw it too, he said,

“It was an affirmation that we were joining hands and hearts to raise marriage as a covenant relationship,” he said. “We see it as coming along side and investing time and talent in what they were already doing.”

The covenant marriage concept, Waugh said, is biblical, where the notion of a contract is not.

“It originates with the heart of the God,” he said. “It originates with His Word … It describes a relationship that goes beyond a contract.”

He said the traditional marriage license is merely a contract that is similar to a hunting license, a signed agreement that “has a beginning and end,” and carries loopholes.

“A marriage license doesn’t even carry the weight of what you would call a contractual agreement,” he said.

A sacrificial love
A covenant marriage, however, goes much deeper and it starts with the Lord. Waugh calls it a selfless love that exists not for what “I can receive,” but what it can give to a relationship. A covenant marriage comes from God. Only God can enable us to live a selfless life before someone else, with someone else.”

The covenant movement also encourages marriage preparation of at least six sessions, mentoring among lay couples, crisis intervention and sexual purity. Several states—Arizona, Arkansas and Louisiana—also stress counseling before seeking divorce.

Waugh is careful to underscore that the covenant marriage is no substitute for a legal marriage license in that Christians are called to respect the authority of society’s laws.

“The church does not carry authority over society,” he said. “In order for it to exceed and thrive—covenant marriage, it really does need that authoritative relationship, whether it’s family or a church congregation.”

Lukewarm churches?
Churches, he said, will be held accountable for not taking serious its authority and responsibility in the area of marriages.

“What you do reveals what you believe,” he said. “It’s not enough just to say it.

“If our expectation as a body of believers does not exceed the expectations of the world, then we are expecting far too little of ourselves and of Christ, who dwells in us.”

“It’s not enough to be against abortion, it’s not enough to be against divorce, it’s not enough to be against gay unions. What are you doing about it?”

Covenant marriage resources are available online at covenantmarriage.com.

Published, February 2005

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