Dual adoptions shape life of Reagan’s oldest son

As the son of a president and a King, it was Michael Reagan’s adoption by a Hollywood power couple that opened doors from Beverly Hills to the White House. It was, however, the royal pedigree of his adoption into the Kingdom of God that brought Reagan healing from a childhood hijacked by sexual abuse.

Born to an unwed mother who named him John L. Flaugher, Reagan was adopted three days later by Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman. It was a high-profile household that, more often than not, isolated the young Michael.

“I almost kind of chuckle,” he said. “People come to hear me speak because I am Ronald Reagan’s son. They assume it was a great life. It must have been easy being the son of Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman. It makes me chuckle because I think, ‘Wait till I hit them in the head with this.’ I think from the very first blush they are in shock.”

With a story line that could make residents of Melrose Place themselves blush, Reagan, in his new book “Twice Adopted,” outlines his painful childhood in a story that even Hollywood couldn’t conceive: sexual abuse, child pornography, adoption, divorce, rejection, fear, anger, all in a backdrop that extends from Beverly Hills to the White House. Although heart-breaking at times—Reagan casts a bright light on issues that traditionally make churches squirm—the book is more about the light of redemption than of darkness.

By the time Reagan turned 8, his parents had divorced, he was attending boarding schools and was molested and photographed by the operator of an after-school day camp. The combination, coupled with his absolute conviction that God hated him and heaven would never be his, the young Reagan feasted on a diet of self-loathing and rebellion well into adulthood, risking nearly every relationship he formed.

At the core of it was fear—fear of exposing his famous parents to ridicule because of his secret. As his parents evolved more and more into the public eye, the younger Reagan was skittish, waiting for the photos to surface.

“I could live with the molest, but I could not live with the photos,” he said.

Rebel with a cause
The rebellion, his young mind told him, was the best hope of having his parents walk away from him, just like his birth mother. He also used the approach with his playboy lifestyle.

“Your greatest fear is people will affirm what you always thought about yourself,” he said.

Then he met Colleen Sterns. Nearly two years after the blind date that introduced them, they married.

“She was crazy in love with me,” he said. “She saw potential in me, the goodness in me. She’s a Nebraska girl who sinks roots and stays around.”

A Christian, Colleen demonstrated an unconditional love that drew Reagan quickly. Despite his repeated attempts at sabotaging his relationships, she remained patient.

“My wife didn’t know why I was in a hole, but she knew I was in one,” he said.

When Cameron, their oldest child, turned 7, Reagan said he began to relive his own experiences and his inner anger simmered and boiled, spewing forth in verbal abuse of his son.

“I was really going down that road again,” he said. “Colleen basically got in my face. That really began the process.”

The process started on his knees.

Reaching the church
Although his story has been chronicled in previous books, Reagan said “Twice Adopted” was penned to share with the church, to minister to Christians.

“The issues that I discuss in the book are going on in every church in America or the world,” he said in a telephone interview.

His first experience with sharing his testimony in church came in November 2002 when he spoke before 300 at a men’s ministry event at Church on the Way in Van Nuys, where he is now a member.

“You could have heard a pin drop on the carpet floor,” he said. “Eventually they realize what they are hearing is their story, that they never dealt with.”

A repeat session last year drew 1,000 people with 12 accepting Christ.

“I know I am sharing the story for millions and millions of people who haven’t dealt with it yet,” he said.

Personality shaped
One of the most liberating revelations for Reagan came when he accepted that his past had shaped who he had become. Even his personality as an affable, funny guy that used humor to hide the hurts, came from the scars that singed his innocence.

“It’s part of you,” he said. “It’s your life. You live it your entire life. You learn to accept yourself, instead of reject yourself. You’ve led a life of rejection.”

By channeling those experiences, Reagan is hoping he can help others take on their pasts.

“It’s giving me a voice to talk,” he said. “I get to share my faith and help people regain their faith.

“The hardest thing churches confront is asking me to come the first time to speak. It’s a very tough subject to broach. Churches by and large have a problem with this. I think they are absolutely terrified of dealing with these issues. They don’t want to know what’s going on in their churches.

“It (the church) has to start taking it seriously, there are too many angry kids,” he said. “Look at our streets. There are too many children who are angry. They walked away from the church. Maybe we should ask why.”

Modeling love
Starved for love, Reagan said, many molest victims head into a homosexual lifestyle because it’s the one place where acceptance is found. The key is to balance the message of sin, with that of love.

“How do they, as pastors, as Christians, comfort those young men so they don’t run to the homosexual community and find comfort there?

“They need to be embraced. They need to be hugged.”

From his perspective, Reagan said adults need to do a better job viewing the world of their children from their eyes and not their own. Children, he said, view adults as God. Adults at church can, without even realizing it, usher a child into a life of shame.

“Churches are interesting,” he said. “They have great outreaches to everyone but the people in their own church. Have you ever noticed we want the perfect kids in our Sunday Schools?

“It’s OK for inner city children to be angry, mad and godless but we don’t expect that in our church.”

Overcoming childhood trauma, verbal and physical, can take a lifetime, he said. But, through the love of the Lord and his spouse, the transformation came in doses.

“It’s not like I accepted Christ and the next day everything was fine, the flowers bloomed and the sky was blue,” he said. “I brought so much baggage with me it’s still a work in progress.”

Published, December 2004

Christian Examiner™, P.O. Box 2606 El Cajon, CA 92021 • 619-668-5100 • Fax 619-668-1115
Email: info@christianexaminer.com • Web site: www.christianexaminer.com